To: ALL DRIVERS
From: THE POWERS THAT BE
Date: JULY 29, 2010
Subject: DRIVING STYLE FOR THE DAY
Today is officially "Brake For No Reason Day". Please feel free to brake at will. Further, we encourage you to randomly change speed, slowing to around 10 mph on 50 mph roads. Do this often. Additionally, if you have the opportunity to travel 3-cars wide on a 3-lane road, all traveling at the same speed, please do so.
Special note... Do not, under any circumstances, forward this memo to Chelle Stafford. A secondary purpose to "Brake For No Reason Day" is to cause great annoyance to her during what would normally be a very simple commute.