Monday, January 28, 2013

Day One of Doubles... And clearing up a few things

Can you hear that? Listen close... that's the sound of my legs SCREAMING at me. ;-) Yep, they're pretty upset. Not only was today leg day, but the designated morning cardio was an hour on the stair-master. Ouch. Oh, but that's not all. Today marks day one of my doubles. At 5pm, I was back in the gym, splitting my 2nd hour of cardio between the elliptical and the treadmill (walking incline) so as to give my knees a break (we joke that I have glass knees).  From here on out (until I leave for the Arnold) I'm doing 2 cardio sessions each day. Which means, I am now spending round about 3 hrs each day in the gym, 6 days a week. Though I will be tapering down that cardio toward the end of the next 5 weeks.  And I don't even wanna talk about how hungry I am. ;-)

Do I really love the gym that much? Am I that much of a sweat-slut? Nope. Not really. But... I have a goal to reach, and this is how it's done. Clean eating, proper calorie and macro-nutrient manipulation, strength training, and killer cardio.

Let me also point out that this routine is temporary. It's extreme, and it's not sustainable. This is special event prep. Let me also say, that doing this crazy prep for chilling at The Arnold does not mean I am ashamed of my body as it is right now. In fact, I could show up right now, this moment, and be completely proud of who and where I am. Am I ready to step on the Figure stage today? Ummmm NO, but I don't have to ;-)

Why am I talking about this? Because I recently heard this: "Why are you still trying to lose weight? When are you going to be satisfied? Why do you still think you're fat??"

Misunderstandings are afoot and it's time to clarify exactly what it is I'm doing here.

A) I am not "trying to lose weight". The number on the scale is fairly irrelevant, to be honest. I hit my goal weight in October of 2008 - and (outside of my figure competition when I got teeny-tiny) have maintained it. But the number isn't the point - it's about how I feel, how I look, my health. And again, my goal here isn't to lose weight, it's to lean out to look extra good for a very special event (yes, that would be vanity, and I'm ok with that, lol).

B) I will NEVER be satisfied. I will always strive to be better, to attain more. I may not always be able to do that physically, so I'm taking advantage of it while I can. I'm improving myself, but I'm not unhappy with myself. I'm not working this hard and dieting down because I don't like what I see in the mirror. It's kind of like editing a manuscript - I'm just tweaking the lines a bit to make it better. ;-)

C) Thank goodness, the body dysmorphia is gone! I am NOT fat. I know I am not fat. That in and of itself is a victory, as there was a very, very long time after I lost all that weight (80 lbs!) when I still saw Fat-Chelle in the mirror. So... just because I'm reaching for a goal most folks don't understand, doesn't mean that I'm doing it because I think I'm fat.

So... all that said... any questions?  ;-)


4 comments:

  1. I understand perfectly! I am still surprised I'm wearing a size 4 and have been for months. I am in the gym 6 days a week because I love working out. My day doesn't feel right unless I do. I finally finally stopped seeing pudgy butterball me in the mirror, too. I now see my teeny tiny breasts. lol If only they were muscle and not glandular tissue. ;) Working out doesn't stop once you reach your goal - thank goodness. My muscles would probably murder me while I slept. Good luck at the Arnold. Can't believe it's here already.

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    1. "working out doesn't stop once you reach your goal"... WELL SAID!!! :-D

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  2. I get a lot of crap from co-workers all the time and I chalk it up to them being jealous. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improved and become better because that is what life is all about...right?!

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