Reaching that nebulous "goal weight", even though I didn't think I would, meant something to me - it meant arriving at a point where I would be happy with my body - even love it, where I would look in the mirror and see fit and sexy, where I had conquered all my body image issues. I worked hard, I sweat and wept, I sacrificed social events (and a few unsupportive relationships), I learned how to eat, how to exercise, and I did reach goal weight, only to discover as I reached the December of my Journey...
Nothing had changed. Sure, my body weight and shape were different, but I was still the same person inside. I had the same insecurities, the same body issues, fears... they were all still there. Losing weight didn't magically change me.
And I laugh at myself, While the tears roll down,
As I watch others travel toward their own goals, I often hear statements like, "When I'm skinny, I'll be happy" or "When I'm thin, I'll love my body". And it breaks my heart. Skinny and Thin won't fix what's broken. It just doesn't work that way. (And fyi, surgery won't "fix" it either - which was a big part of why I waited as long as I did before I had mine. I needed to be mentally and emotionally healthy first.) Added to that, many of us experience body dysmorphia during and after our weight loss. It's devastating to work so hard and not be able to see it in the mirror.
My hope for you who are on a weight loss quest is that you not reach the December of your Journey only to look out and discover that nothing has changed. As you strive to become physically healthy, don't neglect your mental and emotional health. Develop your strengths, and strengthen your weaknesses. Become more of who you are inside. You are beautiful - regardless of your weight or size. Please don't mistake weight loss for happiness. Don't mistake a number on the scale, or a size of clothing for who you are. You're not a number. You're not a size. You are more. You are worthy. You are strong, courageous, brave, dedicated... You are Transforming.
If you're interested in your own I AM TRANSFORMING t-shirt, please visit my store. They are available in black or in white, in sizes from S to XXL.
I AM TRANSFORMING t-shirt is an original Recipe For Fitness design.