Monday, October 20, 2014

Scootin' Right Along...

bwahahaha!
Head is still where it should be, lol. ;-) I'm positive, upbeat, and scootin' right along. Who's crazy enough to seize the joy and go all Bright-side during the absolute 'worst' part of competition prep? That would be me. Haha! I'm in the fun-zone.

In an ironic twist of my ocd brain waves, knowing that I might not make it to the stage in less than 4 weeks is totally ok with me. I'm 100% committed to my journey, the work, the food, the water (gah, the water!) and my goal is absolutely to walk across that stage and I'll do everything it takes to make it. But... I've remembered that I'm more than the sparkly suit and score-card, and there's a mental freedom in knowing I'm good enough that no judge in the world can take away.

So... I'm eating my fish - I've switched to Swai since I'm just baking it now. I find that I can swallow swai better "plain" than I can Tilapia. However, Tilapia is the fish of choice for my Tilapia Burgers. I'm not making the burgers right now, I'm just keeping things simple and stress free. The main components of my meals are baked swai, asparagus, and kale. Tomorrow I'll share my veggie recipe that I've been using - it's pretty darn bomb!

Workouts are going well. Brutal as always, lol, but I'm feeling good. The weights I'm lifting are going down (hello, Barbie Zone!), but the intensity is still high. My cardio workouts are what they are - fasted cardio in the morning, 60 minutes in the evening followed by either dry sauna or epsom salt bath. Circuits, HIIT, steady state... it's all happening. Though I will point out that jumping rope is NOT an option. Apart from my lack of grace and rhythm... after giving birth 3 times, being pregnant a total of 9 times, and being over 40... evidently I have not done enough kegel exercises in my life. Ahem. When consuming 1.5 gallons of water each day, the bladder is never totally empty. Enough said. ;-)

Body dysmorphia is still at the forefront. I'm mostly ignoring it but I had a tough wakeup call the other day, letting me know it was still an issue. I was buying new workout capris, and was arguing with the saleslady about my size. There's no way I could squeeze myself into the XS - are you kidding me? I'm a M, or a S at best. Look how tiny those are! Get real! No, seriously, do not put those in my dressing room. I need the Mediums. Note to self: do not argue with the Athleta woman. She knows. She is right. <sigh>   Now, while most women would be thrilled to be in an XS, once I wrapped my head around it, all I could think was that it meant I'd "lost so much muscle". Geeze-louise! Yeah, had to give myself a smack.

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/251920172881764269/
Many of you have noticed that I spend a lot of time on Pinterest. Hahahaha. Yes, it's a sickness. I spend my cardio time, my break time, scrolling through pins and catching up on food blogs I love. The result is what's probably becoming the world's largest collection of waffles, donuts, s'mores, cinnamon rolls and various other treats. I also have a few healthy recipes I've pinned, but by and large... it's all sugar and pastry. I have no idea why, but I'm obsessed with these recipes and fantasize about preparing them for family and friends - catch that? I don't fantasize about eating them... it's all about making and serving them. I'm sure there's some kind of weird Freudian deal going on there, but whatever. ;-)

Life is full and busy around here. The kids are all doing fine, Bill's doing great - he had the Inc. 500 gala this last week and was lookin' fine in his tux ;-) Hehe. Here's Bill and his business partner, Corey at the gala...

I should have clearer photos later this week. I'm so stinkin' proud of these guys and what they've done!

So... there's my update! Now I'm back to finishing cooking this Swai, laundry, and gym time.... catch ya on the flip side! ;-)

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