Monday, November 1, 2010

Changing Life

On a serious note, yesterday was a special anniversary for Bill and I. Ten years ago, we both went through a hard-reboot on our lives. For me, it involved losing one of the most significant people in my life - my great-grandmother. She was a truly amazing woman, and in the midst of my grief I discovered some painful things about my family, and my place in my family, that left me reeling. During this time, I was further forced to face the truth of my own life & marriage, and make a very difficult decision. On October 30, 2000, I chose to leave my abusive and deviant husband.

The night I left remains the most terrifying and traumatic night of my life, and to my eternal shame, of my children's lives, as well. Making a very long story short, I escaped, making my way through the night. I remember sitting on a bus watching the sun rise, but I couldn't feel the warmth. I was so cold. So scared. From Bakersfield to Los Angeles, then on to Arizona, my terror battled my hope. On October 31st, within 2-hours of my arrival, I had an apartment, a few kitchen basics & foodstuffs, and a job. I was so very lucky, in so many ways.

Throughout the next three years, Bill stood beside me, unfailing in his support, as I fought through the legal system to regain my children and sever the ties of my ex to my life. Bill was there throughout my quest for family truth, and the subsequent changes that wrought. I began a new life. I found new family, and rediscovered a deep love & respect for the family I'd always known. I also found me again.  I realized my own worth as a person and reclaimed my independence. And I found a love that "even time would lie down and be still for."

Bill and I have managed to create a family out of our his & hers children, and we've forged a bond that can only be ascribed to soul-mates. These ten years have been the happiest of my life. For me, life began at age 30. Now at 40, it's brighter than ever.  I'm not saying life is easy. The world can be a dark, dark place, but where there is darkness, there must also be light. I assure you, it can be found. 

October 31st is my own personal independence day, when I took back what was mine... my life. January 2nd, 2007 is another special day... that's when I reclaimed my health and started down the path to fitness & healthy weight. I celebrate these dates, and what they've brought me.
Whether you're changing your life, or your lifestyle, it can be done and age is not a detriment. Find your strength, and embrace the journey. 

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