Friday, February 4, 2011

Relationships are funny things...

Relationships are funny things. Well, people are funny, ergo relationships are, too.

Being the token male in our household nowadays, my husband is outnumbered. Even by the dog. An oft-lamented consequence of this are the odd conversations Bill get's sucked into. From the girls and their vast man-unfriendly chatter to my own TMI observations, Bill suffers through it all. Mostly quietly.

Just last night, talks led to Bill having a complete understanding of why I think I probably had too much fiber and asparagus this last week. Later, when a commercial for Breathe Right strips came on, I commented that I'd love to try them except I'd look funny, and we haven't been married that long (5 years in May, been together over 10). He turns to me in utter astonishment and says, "You can tell me that your pee smells funky because of asparagus, but you don't feel comfortable wearing a strip on your nose to bed??"


The other night, one of our daughters asked us a serious question, based on her own relationship "issues"... "Do you guys ever get sick of each other? I mean, when one of you is talking, do you just want to say, 'shut up! I don't care!'?"

She was stunned when Bill and I quickly and easily said, "Sure." 

"What??? Nuh-uh!"

Let me backtrack a bit... Bill and I have a great relationship. Truly. We rarely fight (but when we do, they're doozies!), and we're very in-tune about most things. But we're also very normal. So yeah, we get annoyed, irritated, and downright sick of each other sometimes. Our daughter was honestly taken aback. Then we talked about handling those times, and that it's never okay to say, "Shut up! I don't care!" We discussed respect and honor, and appreciation.

It got me thinking. There's no man I respect more than my husband. He reciprocates. But we've both been in relationships where that was not the case; long-term relationships, where the other person sought only to tear us down. We each suffered, longer than we should have. We both eventually got out and rebuilt - ourselves first, then a new life with each other. I hope that our relationship serves as a model to our kids, of what should be, but also what is.

While my vanity won't allow me to wear a strip on my nose to bed (I do however remove my makeup, lol), and my respect won't allow me to cut him down, I have other foibles.  I am a self-proclaimed bitch. In my house, I am Queen Bitch. My screensaver on my phone says "You say 'bitch' like it's a bad thing." I'm human, and so is he. Where I am Queen Bitch, he is King Asshole. We accept that about each other, and realize that moods pass, funks fade, but what we have together stands the test.

My kids have come to view Bill as their dad, and they couldn't have a better man to look up to, and look out for them. (I mean really, it makes a statement, doesn't it, when the boys come to call and Dad suddenly decides to clean his sword collection?) Our family has seen some terrible times, and some amazing times, too. Through it all, we continue to build onto our foundation and create a better family... despite ourselves. :-)

We don't have a perfect family, but over the years we've truly knit our "his & hers" into a solid "ours". We might be louder, and more sarcastic than the average family (I say this because I've seen the shock on the kids' friends faces during various dinners, lol) but I'm proud of us. I love what we are together, and who our kids are becoming. And frankly, snark rules!
Yep! I'm a goof!! :-) My family loves me anyway!

We accept each others quirks (and multiple personalities - ya'll would love my Jimmy & George... They're a hoot! LOL!). We love each other regardless. Even when I embarrass my family :-) Which is a lot.  Ok, it's more often than not. It's one of my joys in life :-)

So, in closing... 

Bill, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for telling you about the asparagus, I might try the strips, and thank you for sharing my life. I love you.
Bill and Chelle photo collage (yes,this was pre-weight loss!)

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