Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Workout, Food, Struggles...

Today is flying by... and super busy. So... to get up to date...  last night after work, Bill met me at the gym and he worked out while I did my cardio. If I had thought 20 minutes of HIIT plus 10 of steady state sucked, I now KNOW 3o minutes of HIIT plus 10 of steady sucks more. LOL. I hit the stairmaster, and did 1 minute intervals (level 6 then level 13) for 30 minutes. When I was done with the whole 40 minutes, Bill looked at me and said, "Wow, you look like you're gonna keel over." Gee. Thanks. Lol.
Figure Competition Diet - Chicken stuffed Pasilla Chili
Back home, I stuffed another roasted chili with shredded chicken. This time I sauteed mushrooms & zucchini (chopped) in a bit of garlic olive oil then added the shredded chicken until heated through, then added the salsa (and extra onion to mine) and split it between Bill and I. He had a wrap, I had the stuffed chili. YUM. Have I mentioned lately how much I love roasted chilies? And how much I love that they're FREE on my diet??? :-)

With no one at home but us grown-ups last night, I had some free time so I mixed up another batch of the Protein Zucchini Muffins. To this batch, I added 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/8 tsp ginger, 1/8 tsp nutmeg, and used 10 drops of Capella Apple Pie flavor drops (CLEAN!) instead of the previous 8 drops.  I iced it with the protein frosting, but omitted the vanilla extract, and used 5 drops Capella Cinnamon Coffee Cake and 8 drops Capella Caramel drops.

The drawback? I couldn't taste-test them. Had to wait until this morning after my workout to try one. Ah, life with a regimented diet. Hahahaha. But... worth the wait. Quite tasty. I'm  already planning the next version... LOL!

I do want to offer a few tips for this recipe...
First, the batter does not resemble cake batter. It's more like a cookie batter. Don't think it needs more liquid. It doesn't.

Fully baked, they're only slightly golden, but the knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Don't overbake these! This batch took 20 minutes to bake.

If your muffins stick to the pan... run a knife around the edges, then use a cheap plastic fork (I mean the really cheap ones, that are so weak they bend) to gently scoop down the side and under the muffin. I've had a couple of these stick, and that silly cheap fork works every time.

Once you've got them cooling on a wire rack, go ahead and mix up your frosting. I'm having a lot of fun coming up with different flavors. Once the muffins cool, just divide the frosting between the 6 muffins. It'll frost exactly 6. 


I enjoyed my muffin this morning very, very much :-) Though, I am looking forward to being able to add some sweetener to the frosting :-)

So... On to today.
6:30 am was Back Day with Tab. She comes up with the most creative exercises! I'm going to have to do video, because I can't even describe the stuff she made me do today, lol. Plus we did posing practice. The Julie Lohre DVD I bought helped a lot to get the "look" of the positions in my head, as did all the youTube searching I've done for pros posing on stage. Tab is an excellent posing coach, so as long as I do what she tells me, I will do fine :-)

I am sore. I am very sore. My right leg is more sore (grammar?) than my left. For those of you just tuning in, lol, I had surgery on my right knee in December, and the lateral release has proven more challenging than I expected as I've recovered. That leg is weak. So the fact that it's sorer (grammar again, really, how does one say that?) than the other means that we did it right. Have to build it up as much as we can. The trick to doing that is to not injure it.

And since the other knee isn't 100% either... it's a matter of closely listening to my body, while pushing the line.  Again for those who are new... I have arthritis in my knees. It's an aggressive form, and along with the other issues I have, I am looking at two full knee replacements on the Someday section of my calendar. Actually, that's a huge improvement since before the surgery, the doc thought I only had a few years. I came through surgery and rehabbed faster and better than anyone expected (doc was truly stunned), and here I am on the road to the stage. I'll be competing 8 months and 10 days after my knee was operated on. Not bad. Here's a quick recap of the timeline...

September 2010 - knee pain becomes bad enough to stop me mid-exercise. I see the specialist I've avoided for 3 years (since the last time I tore the patellar tendon and had the tendonitis and arthritis diagnosed).

October 2010 - both knees rapidly become worse ending in me being in braces I not-s0-lovingly called The Beasts. I enter physical therapy.

December 16, 2010 - left knee responded well to therapy. Right got worse. Seriously worse. Kneecap is fused in place - locked by my lateral, along with tendonitis, rapidly progressing arthritis & debris in the knee from my deteriorating kneecap. Surgery is only answer.

4 weeks post-surgery, I had none of the expected swelling. I had exceptional range of motion. And I was released from doctor's care, physical therapy and given the green light to hit the gym.  (If you're interested in reading about all this, it all goes back to here... then through November, December and forward into this year. It's been a journey :-)

Anyway my point was that knee pain is a constant. It's simply part of my life. It doesn't stop me from living, from training, but that said... I have a hell of a lot more respect for my body's signals now, and I listen closely. The last thing I want is to be derailed from my competition goal because I've injured my knee(s).

Why did I share all this? A fellow blogger who is also headed toward the stage expressed in a post that none of the other bloggers she followed ever talked about the bad. It left her feeling like she alone was experiencing the ups and downs of training for a show. While I prefer to convey the positive, the negative does exist. I might not tell you every time I cry the whole way home from the gym because it hurts. I might not share each time I go to stand up from my desk and drop back into my seat (which hopefully hasn't pushed back) because my knee can't handle the weight. And I know I don't express each and every fear I have. There are too many. But I have them. And I cry. And I hurt. That's reality.

Here's another reality. I'm not giving up. Not anything. I will NOT allow myself to be removed from my own life. Not ever again. I've been down that road. I've been weak, and miserable. And I've learned to grow up - own my actions, my behaviors, my thoughts... own my life.

Yesterday I did NOT want to go to the gym for my cardio. Seriously did not want to go. Zero motivation. None of my usual tricks worked... asking myself, "Are your fellow competitors skipping?"  "What do you want more?" "You can do this!"  All fell flat. Even my playlist bombed (different one that I was trying out, it's not posted - and haha, won't be). You know why I drug my ass into the gym? You know why I got on that stair-master and did the full time I was supposed to?

Because there is no other option. 

And no, I didn't experience the beautiful endorphins. I did the work because I had to. When I was done I wanted to collapse. My mindset didn't magically turn around because I did what I was supposed to. (Thank god my family loves me).

I might have dark moments. I might be hungry. I might hurt, cry, whine and bitch. But I will not fail.

Oh, and there's another thing I won't share with you... the absolute trauma I experienced this morning when I prepared that area for Friday's appointment with the Suit Lady. You've seen those suits. You know what I'm saying.


And not without extreme danger.

I'm still traumatized.

I can't talk about it.


  1. I would love to hear about your lateral release surgery (surgeries?) I asked dr to do both at the same time and he is hesitant to do even 1, I'm frustrated but need him to do something! Please share!

    1. Hey there Q! Shoot me an email direct and we'll chat about it.
      chelle @ (without the spaces)