Friday, September 30, 2011

On Living With 3 Teenage Girls - OR - Why Mom is Still Queen

You know I have teenagers. My oldest, Joey, is out of the house and making his own way in the world, while I have two daughters who graduated this last May from High School and one more who is a Freshman this year. Living with teenage girls, we have a phenomena in our house I like to call "Where is my...?"  The question could be, where is my black purse, or my new jeans, or my favorite t-shirt, or my perfume, or my makeup... pretty much anything can fall into that phenomena... including strange things like my computer cord (really??), my cooler bag, or my bowl of sugar-scrub (BETHANY!!!!).

So, there's a new rule in my home, in hopes of combating and defeating this phenomena. I call it, "You Take, I Take". It's pretty simple. Every time I discover something missing, I remove something from the Takers' rooms. It's been rather amusing so far. Here's how it goes...

Daughter 1 to Daughter 2: Did you take my ______?
Daughter 2: No, did you check [Daughter 3]'s room?
Daughter 1 then searches Daughter 3's room. Does not find item.
Daughter 3: GET OUT OF MY ROOM!
Daughter 1: I'm looking for my _____!
Daughter 3: I don't have it, GET OUT!
Daughter 1: Well then who took my ______?!!!?
Daughters 2 & 3: Not me!
Daughter 1: Then where is it??? It was on my [bed, floor, whatever] when I left for work!
Daughter 1:  MOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! Do you know where my ______ is?
Mom: Nope. Sucks when someone takes your stuff, huh?
Daughter 1: [rolling eyes] Duh! Where is it?
Mom: I dunno.
Daughter 1: This pisses me off! I bought that with my own money!
Mom: Gee, that's tough - I know what it's like to bust your butt to buy something you want only to have someone come into your room when you're not there and take it, then not even bother to return it. Blows.
Daughters 1, 2, and 3 all look at each other.... Mom walks away hearing the whispers, "Do you think...? Nah, Mom wouldn't.... would she???
Mom snickers as she continues on her way.

Oh, and girls - if you're reading this... don't bother to search my room. I'm older, wiser, and far sneakier than you. And FYI - the new rule works in reverse, too... You Return, I Return.

This is why Mom is Queen.


  1. My daughter just turned 13... this is good information for me! hehe Thank you!

  2. hahahahahah!!!i LOVE it!!!!!
    i am the last of 5 girls and holy wow. dejavoo!!!
    LOL!!!! any advice for a very strong willed 5 year old who already has an attitide and doesnt like to listen and thrives off of pushing her limits every chance she gets??
    augh,shes driving me nuts!!!!!
    oh and wtg ms sneaky queen!!!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. I think I will have to try this. My daughter is only 11, but she already borrows my clothes, jewelry, bath stuff, lotions and potions, etc... "Where is my body wash???" I scream from the shower because I didn't check to make sure it was there before I got in. No answer. Drives me crazy, and I know it will only get worse as she gets older. Her room is such a mess sometimes, I don't even know if she would notice something was missing! Thanks for the laughs.

  5. Oh I love this!!!! :) My teens are actually pretty good in "that" department, though my son is probably much worse than my daughter. But I love the line about Mom being older, wiser, and sneakier! My kids are often blown away by how I know things, or predict things. I keep telling them that I just know best and may as well accept it. Thanks for the laugh.