Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Adding insult to injury, and an update to yesterday's post...

Torture Device
I forgot to mention Monday's Total Body Conditioning Class! It was a doozy. In more ways than one. Brutally fast-paced and totally awesome with a kick a$$ playlist! At one point we were working with resistance bands (to Queen, Another One Bites the Dust)... You step on the center of the band, cross the handles in front of you and frog walk forward and back - it's a killer on the glutes! Well... being me, it couldn't be that simple, right? Right. Holding the resistance super tight, I took several steps before it popped out from under my right foot and smacked my left thigh. Drat! Got back in position and SNAP!! This time it got my right thigh. Stung like crazy! Then on the next round, the blasted thing broke! That's like the 3rd or 4th one I've snapped! Because this kind of thing happens to me often, I forgot all about it. Until this morning when I was getting ready for work...

Can you see it?
That's a bruise from mid thigh down my calf! And yes, that's my pasty-white leg, haha.  Being bruised from that darn band is just adding insult to injury, doncha think??  Yeesh!

I'm hoping for an injury (and bruise) free class tonight, lol! I will be attending class tonight, though I'm not allowed to do any upper body work... should be interesting.

As promised, here's a snap of my current Driver's license. Not only did I shave my weight, but evidently I gave myself an extra inch! Hahaha! Time for a redo, yes?

And now... the elephant in the room. I posted yesterday about my doctor appt for my shoulder - the diagnosis and prognosis. When I left the doctor's office, I called Bill first, then Tab, then like any self-respecting grown woman, I went crying in an email to my Mom. ;-) I don't care how old I get, I'll always go running to Mommy when the chips are down. Lol. When I got home, Tab was waiting for me. We had skype sessions scheduled with our transformation gals, but she got there early to talk about my shoulder.

Can I just interject here, I truly have the most incredible, amazing people in my life? And that includes you. I appreciate the post-comments and emails more than words can say.

My shoulder might be a tad worse off than I explained yesterday. If I don't type it or say it, it's not real, right? (rueful grin). Surgery isn't an option, it's a requirement. The inflammation is some of the worst he's seen. The bone on bone movement and the inflammation are aggressively destroying the joint. The manipulation he did yesterday (OUCH!) managed to knock the clavicle back into place (I actually slept most of the night!), but this morning it was sticking out again. Gah!

Tab took me in hand and pointed out all the options I still have, the roads I can still travel. Nothing is set in stone right now (though, haha, feels like my shoulder is literally set in stone, lol), and I have time before I have to start making decisions about what I can or can't do in life. She hammered away at my hard head, then ganged up on me with Bill when he got home. I was not permitted to wallow in my self-pity. I was not permitted to pout about something I have no control over. I was not permitted to not take control over the things I can. I was not permitted to give up, lay down, or walk away.  (Thank you, Tab & Bill!!!)

Today, as I got ready for work, I reached into my box for a bracelet when I saw the green reminder band Tab gave me when I began training for my show. My eyes leaked a bit more as I sank to the floor and read it. "Believe. IAAC".

I'd like to say I've bounced back after yesterday's hit, but evidently I don't bounce, I break - literally, hahaha. What I WILL say is that I believe I can and will overcome this, too. I believe that I Am still A Champion. And I am so grateful for Bill, Tab, Mom, and you... who also believe. There are many things I can still do. Many more I will be able to do. Some things are blocked to me, and that's ok. I don't have to compete again, I don't have to be able to lift olympic weights (haha). My body has limits. I don't have to like it, but I do have to respect it (or resign myself to replacing a joint per year - OY!). I WILL find new challenges. I WILL move forward. I AM A CHAMPION.

Thank you for this reminder, Carlene!


  1. You are astounding, amazing and can do anything you put your mind to. You will always be astounding and amazing!

  2. Proud of you and will believe in you always. Here's to your future and whatever you decide it will encompass. :)

  3. You will always be my champion!!

  4. I'm glad you're able to be bolstered by your support and I'm glad you know that it's important to focus on what is within your ability (which is SO much). Even if you never compete on stage again, you are still competing, every day, with the issues and challenges that go along with being a person. You're amazing, duh!! That's why strangers read your blog and actually care what happens in your life. And even though I have to care because we share genes ;), you make it easy to be proud of you and excited for you ALL the time! You're the best! :)

  5. will take some getting used to no doubt... but you will rise the victor that you are... glad you have support and love around you at this difficult time...

  6. I enjoyed that story. It was clever and brave. Good tips... thanks!