Thursday, June 6, 2013

School's OUT... what do I do now?

After a heinous push, mentally reminiscent of childbirth, my latest foray into higher education is complete. It took me FOREVER to finish. I meant to do it while I was competing, and that was just too much. Then I started again, but my family had a crisis and I couldn't focus on anything extra. Then I was busy launching my business and store, rebuilding parts of my personal life and searching for my own strength, then my daughter got engaged and wedding planning began, then more personal challenges including losing our family dog... and then it just simply slid to the back-burner and forgotten. Thankfully, a terrific counselor gave me a call and re-lit the burner. Which then led to the aforementioned heinous push, mentally reminiscent of childbirth. ;-)

And now... school's out ;-) I still have to wait for all the final stuff to be graded and such, but it's out of my hands, my textbooks are put away, and my brain is mush. Stick a fork in it folks, 'cuz it is DONE. Phew! So... What do I do now??? LOL!

Don't get me wrong... I've got a million things on the to-do list. Getting the t-shirts available in the store, continuing to build my business, working with my incredible clients, planning my daughter's wedding, battling injury/disease as I strive to put muscle on this broken body, along with freelance work I'm doing, and my amazing family.  But now that the huge push is over, and I can take a deep breathe (mostly, asthma is still an issue), I find myself a little mentally... lost.
The worst part about reaching a goal is that moment when you realize you're not reaching anymore. There's a sense of loss that comes with the accomplishment. 
I went through the same thing when I hit my goal weight (the one I NEVER thought I'd get), when I finished the Burlesque challenge, when I got my first certification, when I finished my competition, and over and over again - every time I've reached a goal, there is this emptiness that accompanies it - and that looming question... "What do I do now?"

I don't think this is a negative thing. Not at all. I believe it's an opportunity to take stock - to assess where I've been, where I'm at, and where I want to go. As I work on that ever-growing To-Do list, I'll also be figuring out what to grow next. Because that's what it's really all about - growth. The continued evolution of myself. Each day I want to be better, more, than I was the day before. I want to give more, be more, do more, know more. And the only way to accomplish that is to keep moving forward.

So... while I contemplate my next steps, today I am celebrating the completion of the last. I'm gonna go have me so me fun ;-) School's OUT!!!


1 comment: