Monday, June 23, 2014

Add some light to this tunnel! STAT!!!

I hadn't forgotten how dark some of the journey is to the stage, I had just forgotten HOW DARK, lol. ROUGH weekend. Rough and dark. And so very hard. 9 weeks out and it felt like 9 months.

Friday was my carb-up day... I had an overabundance of carbs to get in, but lacked the creativity to do anything with it. I ended up just plugging them in... sweet potato, check; broccoli, check; apple, check; gluten/dairy/soy/corn-free bread, check, check, and double check. I hit my mark, but didn't much enjoy any of it.

Friday was also the day Bethany (finally) got her tonsils out. She came through like the champ she is, and is recovering well. I had packed up my 6-pack, and ate my snack and then my salad and apple in the hall, lol.

Saturday arrived, and I was a bit lethargic (probably the glut of carbs, lol), but finally drug my butt to the gym. And sat in the truck for 15 minutes trying to force myself to walk inside. At last, I got in, got started, but couldn't finish. I completed the workout (legs), but by the time I hit the stairmaster for 45 minutes of interval & steady cardio, my knees were screaming. Toast. Forget toast. More like the burned out crud on the bottom of the oven after you've spilled egg in there and not cleaned it up, and continued to bake... for a year. Lol. I crawled off the machine at 25 minutes and drove home, where I promptly burst into tears the moment I walked in.

My poor, sweet, patient husband just held me while I cried. And cried. Finally, I ate, and calmed down a bit. I knew I had to go back to the gym... I had to finish. I just couldn't face it. So you know what my amazing hubby did? He took me out and got me a recumbent bike for home. Then he set it up. I didn't have to go back to the gym.

And... we all watched a movie while I did my cardio. Awwwww!!!!! How amazing is my family????

Sunday was more relaxed. We got to visit with my parents before they headed back to Sacramento, then I went and did my chest/shoulders workout, then just recovered. Oh, and did laundry. ;-) This morning, I printed out all my food logs, then went to my final physical therapy session (yay!!!), and then on to workout with Kayla.

We talked through my whole weekend emotional whamo-whackadoodle, then made a few tweaks... a couple to my diet, but more changes physically. We've adjusted a few things, and moved a few things. I'll have two rest-days in a row this week, and I'll start wearing my knee brace again. Well, one of them. If you remember, I have several, lol. I'll start with one of my sleeves, and we'll go from there. We're also hoping to get me in for a deep tissue sports massage on Friday to help break up some of the fascia and relieve some of my pain. I will begin foam-rolling in earnest today, too.

For the most part, I feel fine, it's just those moments... and, well, all day Saturday. Lol. Now that I'm out of the dark, I'm having a hard time expressing just how difficult this weekend was, with the training and focus, and eating the food (no appetite). Now that I feel ok (other than painful joints), it's hard to remember why I felt so overwhelmed and defeated. But... it will return - it's part of the journey, part of the process - so I'm focusing on doing what I can to control the things I can control... and relax and trust the process on the things I can't control. Therefore... right now I'm off to ice my knees. And hoping that the light at the end of the tunnel stays on. ;-)

Happy Monday!

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