Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Random Thoughts on Being 5.5 Weeks From Show...

If you read my last post, you know that a difficult weekend led to some crucial refining in my thinking. Since that epiphany, lol, things have not gotten better, easier, or smoother. Not gonna lie - prep and real life are just as hard now as they were before I accepted my ownership. My head is in a better place, for sure, but...

I'm so sore.  I want a caramel iced latte with extra-extra-extra caramel (hold the whipped topping - ya know, just hold the latte and hand over the caramel, k?). I want french fries. I want a nap. Did I mention that I'm sore?

Yesterday's workout was tough - and I mean TOUGH. It was leg day, which on its own makes my soul quiver in fear, but the air quality and humidity are so bad here that I was already having breathing issues before I even walked into the gym.   Oh - and before I go further... my car is in the shop because there's a crack in the radiator, the ac is out, and something is wrong with the power steering - or something. So, I was either getting rides from helpful daughters or borrowing their cars. Anyway... we're in our first round of exercises when I realized that I have officially reached that point.

What point? The one where I now cry during workouts. #@Q#$!!!  I hate that!!! Kayla took it well, recognizing and understanding it while not giving in to it. Good coach. So now we're in the second grouping of exercises... deadlifts, then walking wide lunges w/20# bar on my shoulders, then hip thrusts (those are just so awkward, lol). First time through, I hit a full blown asthma attack. ARGH! Out comes the inhaler. Barking seal goes away, HR comes down, and we move on. Second time through - damn barking is back. I focused on the breathing - not easy when my throat was already tight from tears, finally got it under control. Third time through - again!!! Kayla says, "Ok, next round (fyi it's the last one for these), we'll skip the lunges."  F-that.  Inhaler med finally kicked in (what freakin' took so long???) and I told her I could do it. And I did. That's a victory and I'll take it.

We moved on to the rest of the workout. There were a few tears, a few grunts, but I finished. That's what matters. I did it, and I finished. Back home, I made 3 batches of Tilapia burgers, lol. I am stocked! Worked, then back to the gym for cardio. Home again, had dinner, relaxed with the hubby, then protein shake, then bed. This morning when I woke for my fasted cardio I could barely move my legs. Ugh.

Regardless... me and Season 1, Episode 7 of Alias got it done. ;-) Today's gone per plan. Workout with Kayla (back/biceps), work-work-work, errands, blog, then I go back in a bit for cardio and dry sauna. At 9pm I'm working with my posing coaches for an hour. Seriously - these folks are amazing. They're competing Friday night, (they are depleted, mentally and physically) but they're making the time to help me.

Oh, as a follow up to my car situation... the dealer finally gave me a loaner, so at least there's that. I should be able to pick up my car sometime tomorrow. Not holding my breath.

Anyway... all that rigmarole to say that things are what they are. I'm eating, workout out, cardio'ing and generally walking the walk. It takes a lot of daily minutia and repetition to reach big goals... I'd love to have something deep and meaningful to share each day of my journey - but it's just not there. Lol. Or maybe it is, but my carb-deprived brain can't locate the thoughts. Could be.

Hey, I did learn a funny thing today - those horrid dressing room mirrors? I found out what they're good for - spontaneous posing practice. LOL!!


  1. you have no idea how much sharing your journey is encouraging others. Thank you.

  2. I love lots of mirrors for posing practice. It makes life so much easier and video is awesome too!

    Keep your head held high you are doing a great job and you know prep seems ling now but before you know it the show will be over and everyone will be congratulating you on a job well done :)

  3. I would not have continued through the asthma, that sucks, that's just me. You are tenacious and will continue to be successful. You are moving forward to the goal finish, keep up the great work!