Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Trapped! Eek!

Trapped, like a mouse in a trap, like a rat in a maze, like a fly on a fly-strip....

The morning began normally enough... 6:00 am, feed the pups (they adore their morning greek yogurt and raw egg that gets added to their bowls) then head out to the garden. Prune the tomatoes, pinch off the flowers on the basil, thai basil and parsley, harvest some gorgeous zucchini, cucumbers, turnips, beets and tomatoes. Check out the growth on my beautiful sunflowers, weed a bit... the usual early morning beat-the-heat stuff.

After that it was puppy duty... keep an eye on Hunter as he swims (dude LOVES the pool!). Throw the ball for Loki (who doesn't yet share his brother's love of water). Replant the citronella that Loki dug up while I was playing with Hunter. Dry off Hunter, who likes this process as much as he likes to swim. Then it's back inside to heat up breakfast.

Two cups of coffee and a full tummy later, the pups need to go outside - out we go. Eyes on Hunter, throwing for Loki, sipping iced coffee. Time to go back in... towel battle, belly rubs, open the slider... and whammo!

See, summer has already begun here. Record temps have already been reached (118 F last weekend!), and the pests have come with the heat. The estate behind us (there's a big estate that our street of the subdivision backs to) has cows. Cows. As in moo all day long. So, along with livestock, every summer we get a boost in certain other populations - mosquitoes, bats (which are fine since they eat nasty bugs), and flies.

We're talking apocalyptic clouds of flies.

Serious end of the world swarms of flies.

Flies that end up inside my house.

This inevitable yearly pestilence is what caused my morning debacle. Each year we try everything we can to deal with the nasty buzzing black be-winged bodies. We've done sprays (short lived - should have read the ingredients - hello, asthma), we've tried all natural fly traps (Hunter loves them and ends up smelling like dead fish, which leads to Loki and I smelling like dead fish, and seriously yucky showers). We even have one of those electrified fly swatters (Bill has way too much fun with this one, and NO, that is NOT a fly on my knee, damnit!!)  So... this year I thought, screw aesthetics - let's hang those ugly fly strips everywhere. Every.Where. And I did.

I hung fly strips in windows, corridors, and my personal coup d'e-tat, over the back sliding door where the buggers are coming in from. Now, I used a little sense here - I didn't hang it right in the doorway, I hung it just to the right of it. Where no one would accidentally walk into it. Yep, that's what I did.

So, following the towel battle, belly rubs, and door opening to herd everyone back inside, the boys got a little frisky, rolled around a bit, then charged me. Me. Who was only standing in the door, innocent of any crime. Boom! 90 lbs of combined pups hits me and knocks me sideways while they continue their rough-housing in puppy-glee. I snicker, turn to slide the door closed and Whoop! Pulled up short. WTH? I can't move! Why can't I move?? I reach back and...

EWWWW!!!!! That long strip of nasty fly stuff is now STUCK IN MY HAIR!! Yuck!!!!!

Being well and truly trapped in the fly trap, I very calmly call for my daughter (read: SCREAM).

What? she calls back to me from her bedroom.
Help, Help, HELP!!!! I gently and zen-ly reply.
Mom, What???? she responds, very irritated, still from her bedroom.
She's now moving from the bedroom, to the hallway, to the kitchen...
Oh My God. She stops dead.
Then she laughs.
Get over here and get me out of this!!!!!

After entirely way too much mirth, Bethany managed to disconnect me from the trap, but my hair is now ewww-gross sticky.  Ah, c'mon. Is it too late to go back to bed?

And now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I have a date with a shampoo bottle. And maybe a pair of scissors. EWWWWWWW!

Happy Wednesday.


  1. First let me start off by saying "WoW" Loki has gotten so big! Time "flies" hahaha Loved your post about your garden. What made me laugh out loud was the fly trap-mostly that would be me! Then Bethany's reply! Thanks again

    1. Lol!! Glad I could provide a laugh... I swear, I don't know why these things happen to me! Haha!